How To Keep a Healthy Level of Insanity

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Everytime someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in".
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over thier caffine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."
7. Don't ever use punctuation marks.
8. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
9. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
10. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
11. Sing along at the opera.
12. Go to a poetry recital and ask loudly why the poems don't ryhme.
13. When standing in a crowded elevator, peer into your purse or briefcase and whisper, "Got enough air in there?"
14. Put mosquito netting around your desk or cubicle. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16. Remember that elevator we were talking about? Make explosion noises every time someone pushes a button.
17. When money comes out of the ATM machine, scream "I won, I won!!! Third time this week!!!"
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives! They're loose!!"
19. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go..."And the final way to banish boredom...
20. Send this to everyone in your email address book(including yourself), even if they sent it to you or asked you not to send them stuff like this.