Saturday, Sep 30, 2006

"Where the Heart longs, it does not Belong..
What the Heart wishes, it gets Misguided..
Who the Heart wants, it gets Rejected..
When the Heart turns Black..
Everything else is just an Illusion..."


Pain is no longer wat i feel..i think i am pretty much null to pain alrdy..now i am feeling sth else..
Sth more profound..yet at e same time..simple..
Sth tt cannot be explained....yet understood..


What is joy?What is pain?
What is love?What is hate?
What is it that life gives?
What is it that life takes?
What is life?


How does the heart endure all that life has in store for it?Love as it is..very much like Hate..is a double-edged sword..


"Where the Heart longs, it does not Belong.."
What am I fighting for?Where do I wanna be?the answer is clear..but e answer itself..is too far..


"What the Heart wishes, it gets Misguided.."
I wish, I wish, I wish..but it is never answered..much like an unanswered prayer..I can only carry on wishing..More often than not, I haf to bring myself back..


"Who the Heart wants, it gets Rejected.."
That goes without saying..


"When the Heart turns Black..
Everything else is just an Illusion..."
I am experiencing Tsunami, Bliazzard, Thunderstorm, Sandstorm, what have you, ALL in waves..after waves..after waves..but I keep picking myself up..time and again I noe I lose sth..but time and again..I tell myself not to give up..
Yeah..but if this keeps up..I might become a person w no feelings..after all..I no longer feel pain alrdy..I've always thought that feelings can co-exist w everything life has to give..but now it seems..it is time to throw away feelings..it is e dreadful thing..it is time to set my priorities..perhaps it is e time..to withdraw myself back to my own world once more..be totally devoid of feelings altogether..be that idiot sitting in e dark corner..caring only for himself..be alone..Once more..Sometimes..the best place to find Serenity..is within oneself..


I now am a lost sheep once again..My life is looping ard..as a sheep..First time was after e break..this sheep got so lost..that it took him quite some time to recover..but he got up..he got up..took some time..but he got up..then after some time..he was founded by a nice shepherd..which he grew fondly close to..however..the shepherd..kinda left..leaving e sheep lost once again..but he got up..he got up..took lesser time than before..but he got up..However at this pt in time..e sheep grew ever more wary abt shepherds..ever more wary abt life..so much so that he abstained from shepherds..why, even herds of sheeps he oso nv got close..and then one fine day..another good shepherd came along..initially the sheep was very wary..he was very cautious..but somehow..he drew closer to e shepherd..but still keeping his distance..Soon he put his guard down and thought tt he finally found a good shepherd to be with..However it was not meant to be..the shepherd has another sheep..he was really sad..really sad..but he knows he has found a good shepherd..so he got up..he got up..he remained close ard e shepherd knowing tt e existence of e other sheep will rid his own very existence..but he remained..he remained..as it is..time went by..he remained..but along e way..many a times,this sheep sat down, all depressed, all down, all lost..but he got up..he got up..took not much time at all..but he got up..continued staying near e shepherd..however it was not meant to be..e shepherd suddenly said e other sheep doesn't want him around..disapproves of e shepherd contacting him..Now the sheep is lost once again..This time around..can he get up?can he get up?only time will tell..but..can he get up?


There's just so much in my head now..I wanna go back to being alone again..But I noe I will regret if I give up now..I wanna press on..press on..press on..
Faith comes from within..within means e heart..but e heart is weak alrdy..what is there for me to believe in now?Where do I get my strength?How do I go on?



Wow..i haf typed quite a lot..but there is so much more i wanna say..but i guess..a picture speaks a thousand words..i haf found a picture tt best describes my feelings, my situation, my heart..right now... >>>>