"It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by the dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions and spends himself in a worthy course; who at the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who, at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly; so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory or defeat."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~THEODORE ROOSEVELT (Paris Sorbonne,1910) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Friday, October 20, 2006

Waterpolo..

Recently, each time I go for any waterpolo training..I always train, or play like there's no tmr..good or bad?I dunno..I juz noe that..each time I go down, I juz wanna get rid of watever's tt churning inside me..



Take e recent saturday..I went down SAJC to train..I played for 3 hours straight there..NOT wanting to stop..despite the fact tt I was alrdy falling sick..but no..I juz wanted to continue..knowing in e back of my head that once I stop, I'll start thinking of many stuff again...



Today, juz now..we had training (the uni team)..and we played 4 qtrs of 10min each..I dunno wat's gotten into me, but I juz played liket there's really no tmr..even though I had performed better last time like yrs back, but juz now, I was really hooked..din wanna stop...I played e whole 4 qtrs...no doubt most other players did too...but I din wanna stop..in fact, right after the 4th qtr ended..I still wanted to play summore...There's juz so much in me...that I juz...wanna throw out...I juz wanna play till..I lay flat there...completely devoid of strength..completely devoid of energy...completely devoid of feelings...I juz wanna lay there...where e only thing tt will ever come to mind is: I need rest...but no..it juz doesnt happen that way...Still...I wanted to carry on...



Waterpolo, I guess..is my only form of outlet in this alrdy forsaken life of mine...I may look peaceful on e outside...but there's really too much going on within me..there's juz so much I wanna say..but I dunno how to go abt doing so..Everyday the pressure within me is building up..everyday I wanna juz do sth destructive...And my only outlet is that once or twice per wk where I have control of e ball..and place watever out-of-control stuff I haf into e ball..and juz whack..For those few moments, I feel lighter...and cos I feel lighter..I can carry on to juz whack...juz swim..juz throw..juz fight...juz do unto myself like there was nv even a myself in e first place..



But when the whole thing ends...e whole training ends...e pressure within me..builds up once more...and it builds up at an exponential rate..till it returns to e level it was b4 I started playing...I really wished that I cld juz play and play and play and play till I really lay flat..



There's juz...too much going on inside me...

By ben -There, and back again 12:03 AM

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